As it turned out, my first cousin Safari became a statistic in this season of terrible floods in the country one of 72 people marked missing (better than being marked dead.).
And because time and tide wait for no man, I did not even have the time to properly mourn my beloved hustling, missing cuzo, even as the news that he had been swept away in the floods threw the wider family into a tail-spin.
We bury our mother, then our brother drowns, Safari? his half-sister moaned.
Virginity: Were waiting until marriage despite peer pressure Linda Ndungu: What drives Bolt Kenya boss careerWe dont know that for sure, sis, I said, trying to keep her hopeful. They havent found his Mazda. (I had been about to say his body but I stopped myself).
But it wasnt his car anymore. It belonged to the Ports wheeler-dealer, Mr Mutua.
I am very sorry to hear about Safari, Mark Mutua had called me the day after the accident, myself having been air-lifted to Nairobi by Medi-Vac from my flooded crib to higher land refuge that cold Tuesday evening, a trip I barely remembered. But hun-till we recover the motor vehicle, in n-good condition, hi need haf the money back
For a second, I was tempted to tell Mutua the duffel bag with the Sh1 million had been swept away. But now the guilt of having saved the money bag at the back instead of helping my cousin (I had really believed he would get out of the car too in one piece) was eating away at my soul, with the scene re-playing itself in my dreams at night.
This was a chance to show myself I had not completely sold my soul to Mammon.
Where should I drop off the half milli, Mr Mutua?
Hi Im still in Mombasa, he said. Meet my wife at Mayas Hinn and give hit to her.
Which is what I did Mrs Mutua being one of those round jovial people, in her mid-50s, with the glowing skin that comes with good eating and living.
The remaining half a million went to Mr Li, owner of the Gang Dong Mall, who I met at Galleria Mall.
I likey to see how my competition it is doing, he said, waving vague chopsticks in the air to circumference the vogue mall, a far more elegant space than his nuts-and-bolts operation, but which had incredibly affordable goods.
After I had given my tale of woe about why I now only had half the dough for my investment in Safara Mascara, the mall mandarin shook his head sorrowfully.
I likey you Mai-Korr, he said. But it is either a million shilling or nothing, met!
Please Mr Li, I begged. It was an Act of God that took that Mazda. Please?
Picking up the duffel bag reluctantly, the multi-millionaire sighed: Rook, he said. I give you until Friday, May 31st, cross of business, to get the other 500 thousand. Best deal! Where on earth was I going to get 500K in three weeks?
What an insane week it has been, I thought on Friday evening, as I prepared to go for the Top 40 Under 40 Female Entrepreneurs Recognition Awards (FEAR 40), taking place at the Delta on Waiyaki Way.
No, I hadnt had a sex change and become Michela in two days!
I was going as the guest of one Desiree Simaloi, my ex-colleague (head of marketing) in the crappy manure company wed both worked for. Long before I got laid off last year, Simaloi had seen the light during Covid-19 when she accidentally entered digital marketing, saw its potential, and quit to start Desiree Digital Simulations PR firm.
Talking up her brand on a TV show she run, she was in three short years already a nominee for FEAR 40.
And still only in her late-30s, I thought, admiringly and enviously, of a colleague I had always only flirted with in the office, but stayed FB friends with.
So that her asking me to be her male escort to these awards, first on FB, then through WhatsApp call, had come as a surprise.
So no man will have you, Sweet Simaloi? I teased, as I slipped next to her reserved table at the Delta Hotel in Westlands, in a room full of her fellow nominees, a 200-strong throng, and entertainment by a musician called Tree.
Ha ha, she laughed, and she still looked good, with those deep eyes, long nose and jaw, her lithe figure in a red dress that showed small cleavage and high heels.
Desiree Simaloi was knocking back the Amarulas, and her eyes were a bit glazed.
Isnt it too early to celebrate? I teased.
To be honest, Mike she replied. I am a nervous wreck. I need this win, badly
